Identifying and Dealing With Unhappiness
Being unhappy can be difficult. While that may seem obvious because…well..it’s unhappiness…it’s not always the easiest to admit when you’re unhappy. Whether it’s unhappiness with a person or a situation often times we are in denial about what is causing the issue and once we finally admit it we just end up sitting with it longer than we should have.
I have struggled quite a bit with being unhappy in the last few years. It fluctuated from relationships to work and even just general life circumstances which are entirely understandable because we live in a world where perceptions aren’t always reality (social media..ahem). Right now I am struggling with unhappiness in a couple of areas of my life but also feel pretty discouraged about my attempts to fix them. I have gotten some really great advice but it’s one thing to hear advice and another to take it. Sometimes are better than others and most of the time I just find myself making excuses, avoiding the issue, or just holding on to really good times believing that it will all turn around. You know, how everyone tells you it’s going to get better but at every turn, it kinda just…doesn’t?
Everyone has heard the Einstein quote that says “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Something I constantly remind myself of but changing things can be hard. It’s not always in…my control. So why am I writing this? Truth be told, I asked myself quite a few times. After seeing someone else addressing unhappiness, I felt like maybe it would help to take my rambling thoughts to the keys (you know like back in the day when that’s what blogs were about). I know I’m not alone when it comes to being unhappy and, as I said, it can be hard to change it. Not only do I get stuck in the cycle I mentioned before, but sometimes I can’t even bother to make excuses and instead end up tearing myself down for an extended period of time. It can feel overwhelming and like when you get once step ahead you’re sent 2 steps backward. But even the slightest changes can make a difference in how we feel.
Identifying Unhappiness
How do you know if you’re unhappy? It kinda seems like it should be a no brainer, but sometimes it’s just not that simple. Here are some common signs of unhappiness:
Attempting to convince yourself and others that you are happy with something
Feeling overly anxious about something or someone
Avoiding situations or people
Dreaming of the way you want things to be
Complaining about the situation more than normal
Blaming everything else and projecting anger on unrelated things (and never the problem itself)
Physical symptoms like fatigue, weight gain/loss, acne, overconsumption of alcohol, etc
Changes in personality and confidence
Making Small Changes
Once we are able to identify what’s causing the unhappiness, we can make slight changes that allow us to forge ahead. There really isn’t a road map to getting rid of unhappiness, but slight changes are a good start. Some days will be better than others but staying in a very sad place we find ourselves in doesn’t work. Being human is hard. We are made of complicated systems and they aren’t always the most chill. Can they go haywire from time to time? Of course. It would be strange if they didn’t. This is when we need to cut ourselves a little more slack.
Things aren’t always going to be perfect and doing something as simple as giving ourselves a pep talk can make a huge difference. If that seems a bit awkward..meditating and enjoying a few quiet moments can have a similar effect. Those moments can allow us to focus on the things we do want with the hopes we can draw them into our orbit thus ridding ourselves of some of the heavier feelings we may be having. Negativity can severely impact our confidence, make us critical of ourselves and how we can fix situations, and leave us feeling like there is no point in even trying. Pep talks and meditating can help us increase our confidence which can have a positive effect on changing our situation. It may even give us the tools and power to stand up for ourselves when we need to the most. It’s important to remember when you’re dealing with an unhappy situation is no matter how hard we try, we still might screw up and we must forgive ourselves. If we don’t, we are only bound to make it worse.
And eventually, maybe people are right, and it will get better. Maybe we will find the confidence to change things, the right person will come along, a better job listing will appear suddenly, or an opportunity will seemingly fall from the Heavens like it was made for us…whatever it may be we have to be a bit optimistic that the unhappiness will pass eventually.