I Have So Many Questions About the New Season of The Bachelorette

I am not a card-carrying member of Bachelor Nation. In fact, the only reason I began subjecting myself to this show is that my friends LOVE it. So I have given it a chance. There are typically two stages when it comes to watching an episode of any Bachelorette/Bachelor episode. First, the "what is going on? What am I even watching?!" first hour. Followed by the "suddenly feeling really bad about myself" second hour. Now it seems counterproductive to ever compare oneself to reality television contestants but those slurpy, sloppy kisses start to get really...irritating. One's mind can't help but wander at that point, right? But next week a whole new season of The Bachelorette begins. The men were just announced, the promos have started airing, and I just have so many questions.

In case you don't know, and why would you be reading this if you didn't, fan favorite from last season, Becca, is the new Bachelorette. Although I'm 75% sure she's considered a fan favorite and shoo-in for the Bachelorette because of her uncomfortable dumping on camera last season. Sure, Arie is a loser whose kind of a huge dick. But this whole season is definitely based on redemption. That said, the beginning of the season is usually the most interesting. It hasn't started yet but with the information that is out, there are plenty of questions to ask.

148892-1371-1526657411

Was there a specific contestant uniform?

In about 75% of the photos of the eligible bachelors vying for Becca's attention, there seems to be a common thread throughout; Button downs and blazers. Some went with basic white others blue and there's even some gingham thrown into the mix. At least this Rickey fellow added a bowtie to spice things up. At the very least it is much better than the slouchy v-necks of seasons past. Looks like they are trying to make the men look like they have learned how to dress.

Who loves guacamole but hates avocados?

Does this guy even know what guacamole is? Sure, there's citrus juice, spices, and other mix-ins but the central ingredient is the same. Does he also love wine but not grapes? Does he like cake without frosting? Does he love cereal but hate milk? C'mon dude.

5afe1abdad9c2013fb94d4b9

What even are these jobs?

A banjoist sounds like a profession only called upon when they plan to remake or reboot Deliverance. Colognoisser? Is that the official title of someone who sprays cologne at the mall? Social Media Participant? Aren't we all social media participants? Is this the new even more annoying way to say influencer? The real jobs aren't even that much better. Of course, there's former and current NFL football players, bankers, and other assorted jobs. Snooze.

Let's do the damn thing? I guess?

How long until that gets old? It was pretty old on the Bachelor, but now it's about to be an entire summer long phrase that just won't be going anywhere. It's cool to have a personal mantra but like maybe one that isn't this...annoying. Or maybe just don't say it over and over and over until I am forced to turn the television off in frustration. Maybe it will make for a good drinking game. In retrospect at least it's better than Arie's hearts will race....

I'm positive I have even more questions and will continue to have questions as the season rolls on. That said, the men are just fine. Nothing stellar or worth writing home about. I can't wait to come in last in my fantasy league because I can't just seem to figure out how to pick properly. One thing's for sure, I'm about to question my life choices every Monday for the rest of the summer.