Flaking: we’ve all done it. Whether it’s bailing on dinner plans, skipping the gym, or putting off something we swore we’d handle, flaking can leave us feeling guilty, unreliable, and even a little isolated. As someone who trends to prioritize work over fun and often ends up dreading plans I’ve made because I need to be doing something else, I know firsthand how tough it can be to break this habit.

Realizing 2025 is just a few short weeks away, I’ve decided it’s time to stop flaking. I really need to stop prioritizing the wrong things and flaking on myself and others. With this in mind, I saw a few articles I had saved months ago about stop flaking. These six tips can help you shift your mindset, honor your commitments, and feel more in control of your time and energy.

Evaluate Before You Commit

Many of us flake because we say “yes” too much without fully considering the time, energy, or interest involved. It’s easy to agree in the moment, especially when the future seems so far off and who we are 5 minutes from now could be different than who we are right now. But every commitment creates an obligation, and too many obligations can lead to overwhelming situations. Before committing to anything-whether it’s a dinner, a workout or a work project-take a moment and ask yourself: do I really want to do this? Can I realistically fit this into my schedule? Will I feel good about this when the time comes? This reflective steps isn’t about selfishness; it’s about being realistic. Learning to say “no” upfront will help you say “yes” to the things that truly matter.

Identify Your Triggers

Flaking really stems from recurring patterns. The certain situations or behaviors that set you up for failure. Recognizing these triggers is key to breaking the patterns and creating strategies to avoid them. Common triggers are things like overcommitting during busy weeks, scheduling or agreeing to events that don’t really excite or interest you, or agreeing to plans out of guilt or obligation. Once you’ve identified your triggers, take steps to work around them. For example, if you know weeknight plans feel like a chore, prioritize weekend activities. Or, if large social gatherings feel draining, opts for more intimate settings. By managing your triggers, you’ll create a routine that aligns better with your preferences and capacity.

Prioritize Effectively

Not all commitments deserve equal weight. Trying to treat every task, plan, or event as equally important can lead to burnout-and more flaking. Learning to prioritize helps you focus on what truly matters and let go of the unnecessary guilt for skipping less important things. The easiest way to do this, is using a simple framework:

Must-Do: Non-negotiables like work deadlines, family events, or health-related appointments.
Nice-to-Do: Activities that add value to your life, but aren’t essential. Things like catching up with a friend or attending a workout class.
Can-Postpone: Low priority commitments that can wait for a more convenient time.

By organizing your commitments, you’ll gain clarity and feel empowered to say no without guilt.

Practice Self-Awareness

Flaking often happens because we overestimate what we can handle and fail to tune into how we are feeling. I do this most frequently. Self-awareness is the foundation of honoring your commitments-it helps you recognize when to say yes, when to say no, and when to adjust. The easiest way to do this is by checking in with yourself regularly. Hows your energy? What’s your stress level. Reflect on your past flaking moments. Were they due to exhaustion, overcommitment, or something else? Pay attention to your instincts, if a plan feels wrong when you make it, trust that feeling. Journaling, meditation, or even a quick mental pause can help you stay connected to your needs and capacity.

Develop Accountability

Sometimes, having someone to answer to can make a world of difference. Accountability adds an external layer of motivation, helping you follow through even when your inner drive wavers. Accountability is always something I’ve appreciated and has often kept me committed to things I enjoy. It’s easy to apply accountability by sharing plans with a friend, setting deadlines with someone at work, or creating small group goals. For example, committing to a workout class or gym session with a friend makes skipping feel like letting them down (something I have used!). You can even use tools like habit trackers, to-do lists, or calendar reminders. Most importantly reward yourself for being consistent to train yourself on positive behaviors. Accountability turns flaking into a conscious decisions rather than an impulsive reaction.

Choose Fun

Life shouldn’t be all work and no play. Pretty rich coming from me, I’m aware. But when you fill your schedule with obligations, flaking feels almost inevitable. By the time the fun rolls around, you just start to dread it. Prioritizing fun isn’t frivolous-it’s a crucial part of balance and wellness. Reframe how you think about plans. Instead of viewing commitments little or small as chores, focus on their potential joy. Choose activities that genuinely excite you and for the ones that don’t, find a way to make them fun. For example, swap a stressful networking event for a fun catch-up with a friend or turn the most mundane errands enjoyable by bringing a friend and turning them into a mini adventure. When your schedule reflects what you truly love, it’s easier to show up 100%.

Why Breaking the Habit Matters

Flaking doesn’t just impact others-it impacts you. Each time you cancel, you chip away at trust and miss out on opportunities for growth, connection, and obviously, fun. By deciding to make a change and stop flaking out, you’ll not only strengthen your relationships, but also build self-respect and create a life that aligns with what you want. So next time you’re remotely tempted to flake, remember: evaluate your plans, stay aware of your triggers, and straight up choose joy. Flaking less isn’t about being perfect-it’s about showing up for the life you want.

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