Who Needs a Confidence Boost?
I do!
There are a million and a half reasons why my confidence takes a hit almost daily, but I know I’m not the only one. Even having an amazing group of supportive people telling you how great this, that, or the other thing only goes so far especially when you don’t believe it yourself. There are so many things I hate about having confidence problems. They team up with my frequent imposter syndrome to create the worst tag team…ever. Not to mention they can really get into my head and hold me back from doing stuff, going places, and trying new things. They are a real freaking bummer, but they don’t have to stick around.
Of course, they aren’t a switch. It’s a daily effort to combat them. And even on the days where I’m feeling good about how I look or a project or whatever, something as dumb as an Instagram story or someone pointing out an error I made in a draft (hello..where errors are meant to be caught!) can instantly pop my balloon. Then I have to start over from scratch. I’m no expert, but there are things that can be done to help.
Be Honest With Yourself, But Don’t Tear Yourself Down
There are a hell of a lot of things in life that can make us unhappy. And nothing shines a light on those things more than enjoying things you love. There is a real distinction between the two and that’s what can help you realize you may not love that job, that friend, that relationship, whatever the case may be. When you put more emphasis on the activities you love and the people you love, your confidence is nurtured through growing more comfortable with who you are. This helps in the areas of your life where you’re trying too hard to be something or someone. Continuing with things that no longer serve you or trying too hard to be something else makes you focus on weaknesses or things you don’t like about yourself and, as a result, you bring yourself down. Just because you aren’t “insert blank here” doesn’t mean you aren’t a million other amazing things instead. Acknowledge the negative but don’t obsess about it to the point it begins to rip you apart.
Learn to Take the Compliments
This is one of the things I have an incredibly difficult time with. It’s one of my biggest struggles. I love to downplay a compliment or just blow right past it like it never happened which I recently learned people can find pretty damn offensive. The reason people have a hard time accepting compliments is that they genuinely don’t feel as though they really are whatever is being said and because they think the other person is just being polite. If we don’t accept compliments when we get them and respond in a negative way it can not only make the situation uncomfortable but it pops that confidence balloon real quick. If you’re like me and can’t manage to accept a compliment and believe the other person, always give a compliment back. It makes the situation less awkward, spreads kindness and positivity, and later on their compliment may resonate. There have been plenty of times where someone has complimented my appearance or work and much later on that meant something to me when I needed it rather than the second they said it.
Cleanse That Social Media Feed
Social media can suck the life and confidence right out of anyone and that is coming from someone who works on it every day as a job. Being constantly bombarded with photos of people living their “best” filtered life can make your own life seem not so great by comparison. Especially during a global pandemic where it feels like there are so many people doing so many things while you’re stuck at home doing the best you can. Keep in mind, people only put what they want you to see online. The “real” messes and daily activity are something they don’t share just like you probably don’t. The chair full of clothes in the corner of my bedroom is never seen neither are the crazy dish piles when I’m cooking, but of course, they exist. Take the chance to mute or unfollow people who don’t really make you feel like your best self and follow more accounts that provide you healthy inspiration, motivation, or just make you happy overall.
Screw It
Not everything is as big of a deal as it is in your own head. Weight fluctuation is normal. Feeling overworked is normal. That embarrassing thing you just did and can’t forget? No one else is thinking about it so you definitely don’t need to think about it a million times either. People don’t think about you the way you think about yourself. This can be hard to remember sometimes. You don’t know how many times I’ve thought about being so anxious at a huge event that I forget where something was and had to ask even though I should know. It made me feel so dumb and threw my imposter syndrome into overdrive. But does that girl I had to ask even remember it? Most likely not. Does she know that my anxiety was through the roof? Definitely not. But every once in a while when I’m feeling down on myself these intrusive thoughts come right back to reinforce how I’m feeling at that time. Like it’s justifying why I should feel the way I do, but those thoughts aren’t true. Sometimes you just have to do what’s best for you, kick those thoughts to the curb, and do what you want. Everyone has those moments and these thoughts shouldn’t hinder your ability to enjoy other things.
